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Questions for Inner ReflectionIn order to fully honor the transition of marriage, it's important to explore just what this transition means to you. The following questions may help you to more fully understand your thoughts and feelings about becoming a husband or wife.
- What does the role of husband/wife mean to you?
- What are your fears about getting married?
- What are your hopes about getting married?
- Do you have any unresolved feelings about past romantic relationships? If so, what do you need to do to find closure?
- How is being a husband/wife different from being a
single person?
- What is your deepest longing for your wedding day? What might keep you from fulfilling that longing?
- What do you need to prepare inwardly for your wedding?
Reflections for the Outer Preparations…
Ideally, the outer aspects of your wedding day reflect your inner values and serve as an expression of the beauty of the commitment you are making. This doesn't mean everything has to be "perfect" or cost a lot of money. Focus on what matters to you most. During my own wedding, flowers were very important, but wedding favors weren't. For some couples, live music is the most vital expression of their love and flowers matter very little. It's sometimes hard to resist the lure of the bridal magazines telling us that we need everything, but if you stay true to what matters to you, you'll find you create a beautiful wedding. Beauty doesn't mean perfection; it is created when you stay true to your heartfelt desires.
- How do the outer circumstances (e.g. location, flowers,
music, etc.) of your wedding reflect your inner values?
What do you want to express?
- What type of outer circumstances/arrangements connect
you to a feeling of beauty and wholeness? How can you
create outer circumstances to nourish this feeling on
your wedding day?
- What support do you desire from your friends and family in the planning of your wedding and on your wedding day? Are you willing to ask for the help you need? Are you willing to decline the help you do not want?
- What do you want your friends and family to know about what marriage means to you? If your current spiritual practice differs from that of your upbringing, how does your family feel about this? Do you feel that you can express your intention without alienating others' views?
- Are there any written passages/poems/quotes that particularly
speak to you and your view of marriage? Are these important
to include in your ceremony or on your invitations or
programs?
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